read the morals of the stories, they teach you stuff

pickles are tasty because they are marching down your coffee table. HA  HA HA HA HAAAAAAA! The invasion of pickles started in North Dakota on a rooftop; people tried to eat them, but they failed. This means pickles are too sour and bumpy for your gullet.

     the beginning of the pickle canning  started at pickle canning co. Rebellious people   who started a riot, helped start pickle invasions everywhere.  they soon learned that this was a bad idea, and felt very pungent.  but then the u.s. army(u.s. standing for ultimate sugar) bombed the pickles with sugar missiles, which then became too sweet to survive.

A Phone Booth and Eternal Life

“Hey mom, I’m leaving for Sophie’s house now!” Julie yelled from her room, grabbing her bag of clothes in the process. She was about to go to her friend’s house for the third time this month. They had known each other since birth, and nothing could bring them apart.

“Okay, honey! Just be careful of strangers and look both ways before crossing the street!” she yelled back.

Moms and their safety issues Julie laughed to herself. She had been doing this for almost a year now. It was pretty obvious she could handle herself now.

She arrived at Sophie’s house, to see her best friend’s mother crying on the porch, looking heartbroken as ever. She had black hair, wearing a light blue blouse and some jeans. She was wearing flip-flops, seeing as it was June, and had her hair in a ponytail.

“What’s wrong Mrs. Black?” Julie asked, being as gentle about it as possible.

“Sophie is gone!” Mrs. Black sobbed.

“What do you mean by gone?” She asked, an incredulous expression forming on her face.

“She disappeared today; she went to school and never came back, and the last place she was seen was a phone booth!” She was practically in a pool of her own tears now.

“Well, if you want to find your daughter, then we have to inspect that phone booth. That is, if you know where this phone booth is.”

“Y-y-yes,” she said, choking on her words. “I-it’s right down the s-stree-eet from h-here”

“Okay Mrs. Black, lead me to the booth.”

     When they got there, they stepped into the phone booth. They thought it most sensible that she was making a call when she was in the phone booth, so they picked up the phone and dialed Julie’s mother’s number. It rang four times, and then went quiet. No dial tone. No voice. Nothing.

     Suddenly, they were both overtaken by a dizzying feeling, and fell to the ground. They looked outside, to see that all their surroundings were swirling. But they didn’t feel the booth moving at all. Weird.

     Suddenly, the surroundings stopped spinning, and turned into a forest. But this wasn’t just any forest. It was an amazing sight. The trees were so beautiful that they nearly sparkled. The grass was greener than green could ever be, swaying in the wind like waves in the ocean. They stood, there, breath-taken, as they stared at the dream of a forest.

“Well, we don’t have any time to waste, now do we?” Julie said, a broad smile coming across her face. She felt so in control, so grown-up to have an adult following her around, doing as she said.

“G-good idea.” She said, the sob still a ghost in her voice. She had tear stains all down her face, her blouse still wet.

            About 20 minutes into their adventure, they met a man.

“Hello.” Said a voice from the bushes. “Have you seen my little sister? We were supposed to be taking a walk in the forest, but she ran off. Can you help me find her?” he said. He was wearing tattered jeans, a white t-shirt, and had a small shoulder bag.

“Yes…” replied Julie suspiciously. Mrs. Black was right behind her, clocking his every move. “I will on one condition. First, tell us your name, your business here, and where we are. Then, help us find this lady’s daughter.” She pointed her finger toward Mrs. Black as she was finishing the sentence. She still didn’t trust this strange man. He looked only about 17, and he had just come out of the bushes… He was very cunning though.

“Ah yes. Of course I will help you find your daughter. And, my name is George. As you already know, I am here to find my sister, and, you are in the Mystique forest. Will you please show me a picture of your daughter?” said George.

“Um, yes…” Mrs. Black said, still not knowing whether to trust this man. He did seem truly sad about losing his sister though…

            Mrs. Black pulled a picture of Sophie out of her wallet. She had brown hair, down to her ribs, forest green eyes, and a smile that was fit for a model. She was wearing her school uniform; a blue plaid knee-length skirt, a short sleeve shirt, and had her hair in a ponytail. She was truly dazzling.

“Yes, yes! I saw her walk by not ten minutes ago!” said George, a smile finally appearing on his face. Relief washed over Mrs. Black’s body. But there was still one more question that had been itching at her brain for a while…

“Why were you in the bushes anyway?” asked Mrs. Black, an inquisitive look spreading across her face.

“Ha ha. I can see why you find that suspicious. My sister is known for hiding in the bushes a lot.” He replied with a laugh.

“Oh…” Mrs. Black said, feeling a little stupid for asking that question. No! She thought to herself. It’s not a bad thing to be suspicious!

            As they took off down the mossy trail, Julie thought she saw something gleaming in the bushes.

“Wait!” Julie exclaimed, making the others jump. She plunged her hand into the bushes, pulling out a big chunk of… something. She didn’t know what it was. It was gold, but it was also really dirty.

“It’s a clue…” George muttered to himself.

“Did you just tell me it was a shoe?” she asked, starting to laugh.

“Well, um,” George said, trying to think of a way cover up. He didn’t want them to know anything about the treasure. “Well, yes. There are multiple shoe makers that are known to live in the Mystique forest.” He said, almost sighing in relief. “They use that material for their shoes.”

“Oh.” Julie said, frowning. “I was hoping for some random magical shape-shifting piece of dirty metal.”

“Well, no such luck.” He said with a smile. He took the piece of metal and pocketed it.

            They continued to walk through the forest until they came to an odd clearing. The thing that was odd about it was that it had a patch of ground that was different from all the rest. It was a weird, dry looking patch of ground, while all the rest was dirt that had a moist, abundant feeling. George took out the chunk of gold, and stood on the patch of ground. A hungry look overtook his eyes.

“What are you doing?” inquired Julie. She noticed the look in his eyes, and became instantly concerned.

“Shut up!” snapped George. “It was so stupid of you to not see this coming!” The hungry look in his eyes became more intense.

            Suddenly, they heard footsteps behind them. They sounded urgent.

“WAIT!” a familiar voice exclaimed. It was Sophie. “STOP! That man cannot be trusted!”

“How wonderful! Now I have all the sacrifices I need!” George said, tying up the three girls in the process. He took a rope out of his shoulder bag, and in one swift motion, tied the ladies to a nearby oak tree. He then resumed his position on the patch and started mumbling in another language.

“Good thing I always keep a pocket knife handy.”  Said Sophie with a grateful smile. She cut the rope s silently as possible, and crept up behind George. George took a step back, as the big patch turned into a big hole.

“Thank you, God of Eternal Life, for granting me this opportunity!” he said. The edges of the clearing then erupted in flame, oddly staying in one place, not burning anything else. “I shall present you the sacrifices if you will present me with the Ambrosia!”

            Only seconds after he said that, a weird, chicken nugget looking platter appeared in front of him. He stared at it eagerly.

“Thank you, my lord!” he shouted towards the sky. He then proceeded to grab one of the girls, but realized they had escaped. “How did this happen!?” he yelled, a bewildered look replacing that of hunger.

“Who’s the stupid one now?” she asked, showing him the pocket knife. She then proceeded to push George, who was holding the ambrosia, into the hole. He let out a gnarled scream, and the hole erupted in flames. The flames surrounding the clearing then subsided and the three girls sprinted back to the phone booth the way they had came.

“So,” Mrs. Black said to Sophie when they had gotten back to the house. “How exactly did you get into that mess?”

“Well,” Sophie started. “It all started when I realized I needed some new earring for tomorrow, since it is hoop earring day tomorrow at school. I thought it would take me a while to get home, so I decided to call you from a pay phone. But, as you realized a few hours ago, it transported me to a magical world. I got up, started to walk around, when George came at me, asking me to help find his younger sister. I would’ve said yes, when an old lady, which I later learned whose name was Irina, told me not to trust him, and told me about his scheme for immortal life. She took me back to her place, we had a cup of tea, and she let me go. I then saw the two of you walking to the clearing with George. I rushed over there to stop his sinister plan, and… well the rest is history.” She finished, taking a bight of her spaghetti she was eating.

“Well, this truly is an event to tell everyone, but I doubt anybody would believe us.” Said Julie.

And it was. She tried to tell her mother about it, but all she replied with was, “ah yes dear, Sophie and you sure do have great imaginations.” At that, Julie just grunted and went to bed. She dreamt of George, eternal life, and the Mystique Forest. This had probably been the strangest week of her life.